Would it kill you to say please? A guide to modern manners

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In Sunday school it is the put yourself third rule. God first, others second, and yourself third. I see nothing here implying NOT treating them as an equal, either. This is an article about manners, not about gender politics. Wrong, it is an article about both of those things. This article is stupid. Let someone write an article telling modern women how to act like a lady and watch the shit hit the fan for days.

Anyone who actually judges people based on their conformity to this mostly arbitrary bullshit deserves to get repeatedly slapped in the face with a glove. Most if it is just common sense that anyone who actually cares for a girl would do anyway. Waiting to sit until every woman sits? Walking on the outside of the walk? Some of this is just stuff people should do for other people.

How about this: decent people should treat other people with respect and kindness no matter their gender. I especially have problems with 8, 12, and People can generally be trusted to put on and take off their own clothes thank you very much. Finally 21 really pisses me off. Her father has absolutely no fucking say in what she does or who she marries after she leaves home. This tradition comes from a time when women were considered property and the father was transferring ownership of her. In a modern, enlightened society this is bullshit.

Have you bothered to read the reasoning for asking the family for a blessing. Are you stupid? Your gutter mouth in this thread already shows a lack of civility. If you think by spraying profanity we are intimidated…. Your Jedi mind tricks only work on the weak minded. What do wanting to get along with your future in-laws have to do with gender in the first place? She is certainly entitled and free to ask for their blessing.

Since the man is initiating the marriage proposal it seems fitting for him to ask for her parents blessing. I would hope he has already discussed his plans with his parents so there should be no surprise. These are ideal actions. Not always possible but, I believe, the ideal way to move forward in a potential marriage. Here, I believe, we are saying that it is about asking for the blessing of the family.

If they do not approve….. SO in the end.. She has the power. It is clearly an empty gesture. NONE of this article, in any way, tells women how to act. How the woman acts along with that is a seperate issue for a seperate article on a seperate site. Why should a man ask is a valid question. My answer would be that I personally would most likely do it as a sign of respect.

Nobody said whether women should or not. Apparently you live in the wrong century. The last one is plainly ridiculous, are you going to pay her dad for her hand in marriage with a horse, a couple of sheep etc. She is not a chattel. What happens to being equal? Looks to me with rules like this woman are still inferior week and frail with no mind. This is , get with the program woman want to be treated as equals and just like men from pay to status. Not weak, not frail, not even close. Deserving of respect, absolutely. I respect both men and women equally, I just express it differently for each.

It is important to note, that me having respect for you, and me treating you respectfully, are two very different things. I treat everyone with respect. That is how I was raised. But for me to respect you, to admire you, that is a state of mind and for men that has to be earned, for women it is a given until they prove through their actions it is undeserved. And even when someone, male or female, loses my respect, I will still treat them respectfully.

Understand, I view everyone as being socially equal, all on a level playing field. I follow the practices outlined on this list because I was taught to treat women with respect. We should be paid the same, be able to hold the same jobs, in other words, be socially equal, but that does not mean that I wont treat women with respect different from that I show to men.

This capacity for diversity is why I believe we should have equal opportunities. I guess my point is, that being equal socially does not mean we are exactly the same. There are inherent differences between men and women. And until that changes, I am still going to treat women like they are special, because they are. Life would suck without them, and I appreciate the women in my life more than anything.

Forks Go Left, Knives Go Right

So I will treat them with the gratitude and respect they deserve. This is not sad it means that women are seeing themselves as equal and eventually chauvinists like you are going to have to either accept that or die off. The original point of chivalry was to try to create an even social playing field despite the obvious and non-deniable reality that the vast majority of women are physically weaker than the vast majority of healthy men.

Think about it — life could really suck if you were born with no legs and no one ever tried to accommodate you or level the playing field so you could participate equally in society. I am more than happy to make my life a little more inconvenient parking further away, disrupting architecture with wheelchair ramps, I am sure you can think of better examples so that those with any kind of physical or mental disability can participate more fully in society … to level the playing field, since neither of us had anything to do with the physical status we were born with. Being a chauvinist using strength to lord it over women is exactly the opposite from being a chivalrous man.

Both are ways of recognizing the duh! By the way, this applies to all who are obviously physically weaker — handicapped, very young, old, parents to their children, etc. Laughing is not the point. The point is not being obnoxious and overbearing. Of course you can laugh. The idea is that a respectful and considerate person will avoid seeming to demand attention.

That said, this also takes into account your company. If your friends are boisterous, then it stands to reason that you will behave in like manner. However, that should not be your default, because most of society does not reflect it. In most situations, a reserved individual will be better received than an obnoxious one. In the end, we did get their blessing, because they saw factors such as the very maturity that sought to receive the blessing and weigh it. The father gets the yea or nay, and that tradition dates back to when a woman was not her own person.

Chivalry is dead and so it should be. It has nothing to do with being a gentleman. Women are equals not princesses on pedestals. So being attentive matters. Great list. Great reminder. Traditional gentlemanly behavior towards ladies is NOT because they are being thought of as weak, but because they are being honored and respected.

Yes men were chivalrous and were demonized as patriarchal oppressors because of it. Then we stopped caring. More absurdly inaccurate psychoanalysis from clueless internet commenters. Sorry, but I have the self respect to know that I can be treated like an equal without falling to pieces.

Others were completely ridiculous relics meant to round out a poorly-conceived fluff piece. The way they were presented was the part that really stank. Have fun being high maintenance — some men like that because it gives them an easy way to feel more masculine. Thank you very much to the author. I made my personal review and my wife can say if I am passed on that.

So why is it that each tradition is titled in a way that clearly involves consideration of a female? Everybody IS selectively nice. Naturally someone will be nicer to somebody they are interested in, dating, etc. What does any of that have to do with what Nobody Important the guy I replied to said? He seemed to be implying people in the comments see being nice as being insulting, which is incorrect. Where is a list for women that mirrors this one? So does she also ask permission to marry into your family? The traditions were born from researching etiquette books from the past on how a gentleman should act.

The original article provided actual references, but for the sake of creating a blog, we took most of the references out. Nowhere does it say a man has to ask permission to marry a daughter today. One of my best friends asked her father and he said no, but they still got married. The point is, act out of respect and honor people.

You quoted exactly right. Anyone who does that is sexist because he is saying that the father owns the daughter and he wants to take ownership. Do you believe that modern day slavery is honourable Kris? I just replied back to your other post. These are not cultural demands but signs of respect and wisdom. In past times they had a better sense of honor and respect for others than we do today. And I strongly suspect that the custom derived from the notion that the father had a protective role toward his daughter as in most cases, he would have better insight than a young, inexperienced person who could easily be snookered and marry into hell on earth.

Yes, probably in certain instances, a man and woman may have ignored. But unlike today back then more families were intact and tied together by healthy loving relationships in which mutual respect existed and most kids-despite exceptions-knew their father and mother loved them and would do good for them. Even if parents love their kids today, our culture has blown away and lost the skills of healthy, loving families.

Even more unwise is blindly throwing away the wisdom and insight of previous generations which kept nation and families strong for thousands of years-despite whatever imperfections they had. Again we come down to expecting a site specifically offering advice to men to also be implicitly advising women.

Do you ever get tired of kicking the same irrelevant dead horse? Oh, wait, gender equality must mean that women will take just as much damage falling down the stairs as men! I was just trying to use a relevant example. It should be equal respect and treatment if each other. I test my son equality and woman should open the door for man sometimes also. Some of these are fine considerations of a person that you care about, but others not. For example, asking the father for her hand in marriage is horrifying to me.

It definitively treats the woman as if she is not her own person. Makes me crazy. I think the best rules are those that are about being kind, considerate and helpful to your partner — regardless of gender — and respecting them as people, not property. Masculinity comes from within. It would be nice to live in your world. In the real world, we sometimes have to hit, and not with fists only. Yet doing any of these will not get you a ladies attention now a days.

My dad taught me to always be respectful of everyone, and to never be too proud to help someone. My step-mom who I met at age 12 taught me how to sew, cook, clean, manage a household, and overall act like a lady. For all I act like a guy, even I appreciate being protected at times. I know a good number of guys who would love to be treated this way, and in fact, most of them have girlfriends that do treat them like this.

It all depends on the person. You are asking for a blessing. Not permission. THe permission to marry comes from the woman. Sounds like a good deal for her. You guys need to lighten up. Respect goes both ways. An important lesson: While good men will do these things for women, good women will not take advantage of them and take these things for granted. Never forget that. One exception you missed. So you open the door for her to go in, but you wait outside.

When leaving, you open the door by going through it, then wait. Interesting, but I have to disagree that this is necessary today. Women no longer wear corsets and long, heavy dresses that cause them to be weak and clumsy. Everyone should be treated with courtesy regardless of gender. If someone is ahead of me going through a door I expect them to show common courtesy and hold the door no matter what gender they are. No laughing? Sounds like sassenach bs to me. Apart from that, and the quite general propriety of the preponderance of these guidelines let us view a ladies eitquette guide from the nineteenth century.

We can do a co-ed walk-thru and decide which rules we should strike together, tit-for proverbial-tat. A clue: Yes. How is a lady to know if your intent is sincere or not? I agree that these gestures are nice. I do many of them for my husband as a show of my affection and respect. You know what might make it even better? Its really is as simple as that.

Sadly, thats the culture today. Double standards everywhere. Thugs that expect to be treated like schoolboys etc. Wait there until she is safetly in the house before leaving even if it takes 20 minutes while she hunts for keys or has to call her roommate to let her in. The author of this article had to be a liberal, since the two pictures were of Obama, and Leonardo DiCaprio, which are 2 big time left wing leaning nut jobs. It surprises me that the author would write such an article, since most liberals loathe women and minorities. The social contract was broken a long time ago.

Nor do I see society requiring women to fulfill similar requirements. No, this is not about selfishness. I teach my son most of these, but the best way to teach is by example. My husband knows and does most of these. It seems like the feminists have killed them all. When you can make a list of 21 lost gentleman traditions that still apply today, none of which have anything to do with women, only then can you say you truly understand chivalry.

My 18 year old niece married a 33 year old man that already had three kids with two other women prior. Nobody in our family wanted this…. Fast forward to now, she has two children by him, divorced and gets no child support. There is a good reason for asking a parent for permission to marry their child! Sorry ladies. You always want equal treatment and equal pay until it comes to garbage like this. Hey ladies, grow some arms and try to reach your wallet. Will never happen. I agree. As it is now, they want their cake and they want to eat it to.

“Stick em Up! Leave Your Hands Where I Can See Them”

My money is our money. Her money is her money. I agree that the feminist movement went too far and for women to receive such treatment gentlemanly they should behave like ladies. That being said you are totally right that the average female today wants the best of both worlds without giving anything back. As for the dinner check, I always felt it was a reasonable policy that if I invite the man I pay, but if he invites me, he pays.

I have only one contention with one of these things and that is there is always—Always—a reason to hit a woman and that is when it is absolutely necessary to do so. Think of it as this, would you hit a man that was attacking you? Yes, of course you would. So you should a woman. The same applies to women. You have to stand up for yourself or for others, even against someone you might otherwise never harm. According to Wolfe, the definition of being a gentleman is very wrapped up in the way men treat women. That may be. But should men really want to be gentlemen?

Masculinity is a thing in and of itself. It is not all about women. The tendency to define masculinity in terms of the way women are treated is a serious problem in society.

Even cannibals observed manners and etiquette when eating human flesh | The Independent

The men who follow Wolfe in these twenty-one traditions are the men who will trade the respect of their male friends in exchange for female attention. I have seen them. They will betray their own relationships and groups in order to gain the edge in the dating game. Respecting women, they tell us, is the cardinal rule of masculinity. Where is their respect for each other? When someone tells a man to be a man, they are telling him to be more like other men, more like the majority of men, and ideally more like the men whom other men hold in high regard.

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The women whom men find most desirable have historically been attracted to — or been claimed by — men who were feared or revered by other men. Female approval has regularly been a consequence of male approval. Above all things, masculinity is about what men want from each other. But the answer to what is or is not a man does not start with putting men in boxes. It cannot begin by stating what men can and cannot do. It cannot start with the idea that a man is whatever we say he is, or that he should do what we tell him to do. That is the antithesis of masculinity.

No, the people who ask these questions do not want answers, but merely to keep asking the question. Through it, they seek control over others. What is remarkable is not that we have found no answer to these questions, but that in recent decades we have only asked them of men.

The answer is in the question. When it is asked, it is not answerable. When it is not asked, it has been answered. I still disagree. There are other ways to deal with things. You are a real gentleman. That is how a REAL man can do it, handle the situation without resorting to hit a lady.

The only time a man should hit a woman is if she really is threatening his life, but he better have evidence of that. If he deserves it, just walk away from him and never look back. The bible has no place in discussions of equality or basically anything else moral. I actually do most of those things most of the time. But I need to increase frequency and do more of them. I was chastised by a militant feminist misandrist , I had asked out, for whom I did this. She seriously flipped out saying she was fully capable of opening her own doors. Needless to say, I ended that evening soon after. NO ONE deserves disrespect as a response to innocent kindness.

If laughing loudly is bad manners, then what Ive always believed about manners is true. They are nothing more than a way for rich people to be rude to each other. It doesnt apply and no its not. Wont get you anywhere, but at least one can feel bit better about himself. These days, sure you can act like that.. I believe there are lots of parents teaching men these qualities.

And there are still examples of gentlemanly behavior. I actually find it rarer to see girls being taught how a lady acts in return. Am I wrong? Dignity is a word I can hardly place on the vast majority. I do feel like guys growing up have at least a good feeling toward gentlemanly behavior. As in, if I want people to think of me as a real man I need to be strong, hard working, dignified. Whether young men exemplify those stereotypes or not, we at least look up to that and hold that as a standard of classy.

Maybe because the older examples of lady like behavior are too outdated or equated to being overly conservative? Even stay at home moms are derided as if they are inhibiting progressive movement for women. So of course, the dignified behaviors and attitudes that go along with these past eras are also looked down upon. Well, maybe not. When you come to a door.. I hate that my ex would always be the first to the door and never give me a chance to open for her. It will help them feel connected to man tradition, confident in their position as your friend or companion, and reverse some of the very noxious trends that have prevailed over manners.

To do that, we also need ladies to act like ladies.

Would It Kill You To Say Please? A Guide To Modern Manners

Give us a chance to show our affection with these traditions and appreciate them in the spirit they are given. And then, live up to those tokens by being a lady yourself. Dress with some class, that means a degree of modesty. For guys and gals alike, manners all come down to being respectful and generous to those around you. Dignity is about maintaining respect for yourself and the share of human existence you are a part of. Tirade over. But I did want to at least say how impressed I am that there are so many well thought out, articulate and concise arguments going on in this forum.

Sure, there are some people spewing nonsense, but there are a good many people who argue their opinions in a reasonable manner. With intelligence and a clearly formed view of their ideas and perspectives. So, good on you, anonymous ranters. For handling yourselves with intelligence, and more or less polite disposition. This is some seriously beta euphoric friendzone-material bullshit right here. Facts are facts: Women of today are neurotic self-destructive idiots who only respond positively when they are fed attention and respect the same way you feed a lab rat a pellet of food when it negotiates the maze properly.

Is that the way things should be? And I prefer to live in the real world, not some useless look-pretty fantasy land. Thankfully, swinging women do not typically pose any real threat to grown men. These issues can usually be resolved peacefully. On the off-chance that a woman continues her violent tirade, such extreme circumstances may require a proportional level of self-defense.

If such circumstances were to transpire or if light physical abuse repeats, then the relationship likely needs to end. I see boys high school age doing things now toward each other that would have gotten us beaten up 20 yrs ago. Who protects? Who stands between the unsavory types and his date? Who holds the door? Who walks on the street side?

The neutralizing of gender roles seems like it could become a long-term societal problem. I would disagree as to the last one. This is an article written for men. I want to share my testimony with the public at large about what this man called Dr. Malaa just made for me, just the man to bring back my Ex husband lost me with his great spell, I married my husband we were together for a long time and we loved ourselves, but when I was unable to give a child of c2 years left me and told me I can not go more then I was now looking for ways to bring it back until a friend of mine says me about this man called Dr.

Malaa and give me your email contact bestspellhome. No, women today have no right to such behavior. The bra burners are the reason men do not act like this in the first place. Like my mother and father taught me and my sister, behave like a man be treated like a man, behave like a woman and be treated like a woman. Our four-mothers of the sixties made that choice and because of it they killed the chivalrous nature of our society. They made it an insult for a man to hold open a door for them, pay for the date they invited them to, or hold their chair for them.

Contrary to the modern concept of today which is get everything for nothing, you have to earn respect it can not be expected or demanded. My Parents have bestowed these to me at an early stage, I am lucky to know these by heart. I have a wife that loves and appreciates these traits in me. Actually those letters were fare from work of fiction. Proven to be real people who lived and died and wrote letters. Just because you dont happen to believe in what they say does not give you the right to falsely state that they did not exist.

Actually Chivalry is about being humble. That is how I was instructed. To put other before yourself, protecting others who who are unable to protect themselves, to honor people who came before. Its about showing respect. Only a few are worthwhile because they apply to ALL human interactions. You cant just sit there staring at your phone, chewing with your mouth open and complain that guys dont pull your chair out.

It goes both ways ladies! You could go to jail also, you could accidentally kill her. Try subduing or getting away first. Seriously, can people not handle their business without going for brain damage? Just saying. Chivalry is dead because men have given up on being chivalrous. I was taught these things as a child and have always routinely practiced them.

After 45 years of marriage, I still treat my wife and most other women the same way. However, a few years ago I had the misfortune of working alongside a capital-F feminist who considered these simple courtesies to be demeaning and degrading. After she lashed out at me for opening a door for her, I simply ignored her.

I felt better and I trust that she enjoyed being treated like the jerkette that she was. Ladies—Do you feel that women have a responsibility to reciprocate in some way? Is there a feminine equivalent to chivalry? My boyfriend of two years left me for another girl because I accused him of seeing another girl and since then i have been trying to get him but he refuse to come back to me, he was not responding to my call or email and he even unfriend me on face-book and he told me that he is done with me. When women start acting like ladies again, I think men will start acting like gentlemen, and vice versa.

I refuse to act chivalrous with the ridiculous behavior that modern feminism and feminists show today. They scream equality, but want you to be chivalrous and put them on a pedistal…. I will be thankful for her making it and will let her know. Good luck with the blog. My Dad told me to sit in the car until the Gentleman opens the door for me. So after sitting in the car for over an hour, Daddy came out to open the door for me.

Ha Ha. You could walk away, for one thing. That does not take training; it takes maturity. JollyTexan, nothing personal, but there are situations where men need to hit back. Violence is very rarely necessary, but when it is there is no gender to it. So true, not just cowards.

Then promptly leaving. Now if the woman is hitting because the man is hitting up on her, or trying to force himself on her, that is doubly—no vastly more cowardly and unmanly. And the woman has all the justification to hit the guy where it hurts-or use her 2nd amendment rights if necessary. After all, women are not a superior social caste… are they? Alessandro, yes, there are rules of manners for women, but for women as women and ladies. Just as these rules are for men as men.

Yes, there is a difference, but Western civilization has always taught the men to be men and protect the women so they act like women. Yes, the modern feminist movement and the culture in general tries to turn men into women and women into men.

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All human being should reciprocate, right? Personally I find being treated like some kind of breakable princess deplorable. I refuse to be put up on some pedestal any longer so that as soon as I make a single mistake, proving that I am in fact human instead of a doll, I am broken up with. Men, why is it so hard for you to look for an equal partner? You are making things complicated for yourselves. Emburr, respectfully, the point of such manners is not to put women on a pedestal as if she were a statue, but to honor and protect her. No you are not doll and the culture so often tries to degrade women and make them dolls and sex objects.

And while men and women are equal, there are differences including men and women each having their own strengths-and weaknesses. But the reality is that men are physically stronger and in this often sick brutal world, a real man will protect a woman not use her. And simply, a real man will treat his woman like the Princess she deserves to be treated, and that is with chivalry. Women get treated like ladies until they prove otherwise. Unfortunately, there are far fewer ladies than there are gentlemen today.

See a Problem?

Correct, that does not make it true or untrue. Its absolute untruthfulness is clear, yet separate from the ungentlemanly statement. Just being female is enough to guarantee a huge lack of being respected. Houmid, respectfully, sir, a man treats a woman like a lady whether she deserves it or not. And she usually does. He does it because he is a real man and true gentleman. Otherwise, that rationale can be used to justify abusing women.

Open a door for a woman today and half the time they cuss you out. Women, as a whole, gave up the right to be treated as Ladies when they started acting like men loosing all real femininity. Sure, help you mother with her chair, etc. As for picking up the check every time, who are you kidding! Another article showing how far the independence of women has degraded — to the point where articles like this commonly appear in an attempt to remind men that they need assistance constantly. Women, feminism has won the culture war.

You do not get any of the stuff listed here anymore now that you are equal to men. You get to be treated like just another guy, at best just a friendly competitor. Many times you are just a threat and an enemy, since you go for the same job, resources, and positions. Yeah, the and s were definitely a time when men treated women right. This is a straw man argument. There were many, many great things that came out of the s and s, but you should also check your history. Chivalry predates these timeframes to the early Middle Ages.

Exactly, Kris. Sadly many schools misinform students today with false histories that demonize the past while glorifying radical ideologies that so often degrade women, men and all people. Our culture has many things that are not so hot to brag about. Our last century plus has probably been the most barbaric in Western civilization with more wars, death camps, killings and tyranny that any before.

Yet as our society has gotten farther and farther from the God of the Bible who gives human dignity and freedom, again per above, there is more brutality to women and men than ever before despite the talk. For example, we just have to look at movies, TV, advertisements to see how women in this so-called age of liberation have degraded women to sex-toys and objects while degrading men to predators in the name of sexual liberation.

And that morphs into sex and other human trafficking. But yes, while maybe previous generations had their blind spots-like not allowing women to vote, the reality is as we compare attitudes and actions of the way men and cultures treated women and years ago, although no doubt there were exceptions, the myth-busting reality is that it strongly appears that men in those earlier centuries had a lot more respect and honor for women in many ways. Just witness the facts I cite above, plus the earlier rules of etiquette you cite above based on earlier attitudes towards women.

Rules of ordinary honor a man should show to a woman which several have poo-pooed which is evidence of these points. Another example, Kris and all. This is the historical incident of a sinking ship called the Birkenhead if I recall right. This was a British ship I guess perhaps in the early or mids which carried men, women and children.

The ship for some reason began to sink-in shark infested waters. The men could have used their physical strength to overpower the women and take the life boats to save themselves-as no doubt some might do today. But this was a day and culture when men were taught true chivalry based on the Christian value system of laying down your life for those you love-not just superficial manners, and where a man lays his life down for the more defenseless like women and children.

So the men let the women and children have the life boats to be saved. And the men went down in the shark infested waters to be eaten alive by the sharks. On the other hand, there was a French ship under similar circumstances-believe more or less a like time. As a result, when the ship went down, -trying to recall details-but it was something like this- the men beat the women with the life boats oars and took the life boats for themselves.

Now those might seem like extreme examples. But a human-a man or woman-tends to act true to their character whether in ordinary daily life or emergency situations. So ladies, if a man does not display such chivalry to you when you are courting or getting to know him, good chance he will not when married or under emergency circumstances when your life is at risk.

Not saying a man has to be perfect, as none of us are. But that is a big risk to take. This could make a great article. We can learn so much from history…it gives us our blueprint as men. Thank you. I spent some time with a wealthy man who seemed very refined and well-mannered.

He would shoulder up to me while we walked in order to keep pace, never ahead or behind. He also would very slightly grace my elbow or lumbar while we walked and spoke. How did he know to do that?? They were gestures I really appreciated. Is there a book or a class? I want to teach my boys to be like that.

And, I say good riddance. Arko, respectfully, if what you say is true, that chivalry, basically a man treating a woman with dignity and respect is over, then human civilization as a whole is over, as we just have cave men barbarians raping and killing women as other cultures-and even religions have practiced in t he past such as the Vikings. No, sir, it is not over. And again respectfully, you sound sadly bitter. Peace to you. Is that supposed to shame me some way? Try again sweetheart. Is a dramatic one-liner insult, the only thing in your verbal inventory? Dated at best.

A gentleman picks up the check every time? This rule is why many men are uncomfortable dating a woman who makes more money than they do. Good stuff, but I might disagree with the last sentence of 9. When my husband asked my father for his blessing I did not feel like a little girl or like my opinion did not matter but rather I felt blessed. Blessed and respected that my then boyfriend realized how important my dad is to me and that he respected me and my dad enough to include him in one of the most important decisions of both our lives. This is really sad. Do you realize that your father thought he owned you and that your husband thinks he owns you?

As if you are a piece of furniture and not a human being. And yet you think they respect you? You are a piece of property to them and you deserve better. You deserve respect as an adult person who can make your own decisions. He would ask the guy if he had asked me first…. The families should already know each other by the time there is a proposal, and hopefully already get along, so asking permission like that is sexist, insulting and just odd in most situations these days.

Way to progress, ladies! And modern feminism has only come to such great strength because of the awfulness that women used to be subjected to. The picking up the tab thing comes from a time when women were expected to be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen, and men were the only ones that worked. Times have changed, women have jobs and money now too. In essence, we are attempting to dominate the mental sphere. It is only through that that we will be able to explore this vast universe of which we are a part.

It was a derisive term used by the English to denote the weakness of a Dutch man during the Anglo-Dutch wars. Many gentleman practices are derived from the English. Another two — he does NOT hoot when he arrives to pick her up for a date. He gets out of the car and fetches her from the house before opening the car door to help her in. Unfortunately, even in my generation baby boomers there is much of this that has been forgotten. I like how you actually explained exactly why most of these made sense at one time but are no longer applicable, before saying they should still be applied.

But then that last one… A woman is not a possession that passes from one man to another. You are going so damn far out of your way to prove that not only do you not have respect for that woman, not only do you have no respect for any woman, but you actively disrespect them.

The children and those raising them are capable enough of determining what their own gender is and means. Not only are you teaching young boys that women cannot do anything for themselves, you are teaching young and impressionable girls that they are helpless and need the assistance of a man in order to accomplish things.

If my child were in your class, I would go to great lengths to have them removed. Or does everyone forget that he repeatedly sexually abused her and she finally snapped? From experience- I was raped as a teenager. Not pleasant. I just wanted to get out of there and get clean. Re: I am not in favour of using the person gender as an excuse. Well said. There are far too many hags out there who think their sex is a free pass to commit violence against men.

Could someone please guide me to the 21 lost traditions of women? Good for the gander is good for the goose. THIS is how men are enslaved to women. Be a man, take care of yourself, she can take care of herself, too. Go your own way. Stop being simps, grow some nutz. What kind of women are you gunning for? Where do you get these stats? The stats are everywhere, my friend.

Beta males are the fall back. Quality women are absolutely attracted to kindness. I married Miss USA. Quality women are attracted to quality men. Women with issues are attracted to jerks, and then nice guys with their own issues allow themselves to be the fallback. I agree a guy should do all these things. It is sad that many guys do not.

There is also a fear from some guys that militant feminists will label them as chauvinists if they do these things, or maybe even accuse them of sexism to their employers. I have sadly seen this happen. I agree with everything except I would never hit any LADY. But, there are plenty of woman out there that need a good punch in the teeth every now and then. This may be totally off subject, but grasping at the straw that I should indeed be hurt. I am happily married to an amazing man…nearly 15 years of marriage and 20 years together and 3 children under our belt.

My husband is a social guy, great sense of humor and a doting husband. He makes me feel beautiful, loved and adored all the time. We were on our way home from a formal function a couple of weeks ago and a mutual friend a guy came on to me, in a flattering way at first then in a dark threatening way, I was caught off guard as he was a great friend and I adore his wife.

We have a blast as a foursome at events and functions and on family get togethers. My husband completely dismissed my concerns along with the complete description of what was inappropriately professed to me in a whisper by this man…our would be friend. I am outraged. Blindsided and turned off by his lack of concerN. Where is chivalry on the most basic personal level between husband and wife?? GOD forbid if one of our 2 boys would ever dismiss such a charge from their future wives. Thank you for writing such an exemplary article!

I wish everyone could read this and imply what improvements need to be made in their own lives. I appreciate the simple reminders of what I and my husband need to continue to instill in our 3 boys. I always tried to match up to the latter tough guys and would feel silly or too pampered when the gentlemen were around. I always come up with some excuse or reason to validate the compliment. I was once told that doing so was actually being rude and showing a lack of gratitude for their kindness. Sorry to ramble on.

I do really appreciate this article and hope to continue to learn from them to help my husband and I teach our boys these timeless characteristics every boy and man should have. Thanks for this article. Regards, wholesale men clothing. Ask her instead. But if you want to do it anyway for the formality and tradition of it, then ask BOTH her parents.

Because her mother matters too. You had me until the last one. Great article Mr. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. It makes others feel uncomfortable, and it makes you look, well, a little louche, for lack of a better word. Til then, just chill. If someone was kind enough to extend you an invitation, have the decency to reply to their request for a head count. Most people make it easy to let them know, in the form of a stamped, pre-addressed envelope or email address. Respond in kind so they can plan accordingly. When someone holds the door open, say thank you.

R u an adult? Then pls lv th txt hieroglyphics 2 th kids. Consider every tweet or text an opportunity to hone your editing skills. Want to read more about how to handle any situation with grace and poise? Here are some resources:. When she's not writing or trolling Instagram, she loves spending time with her Aussie husband and furbaby, Macy. I think that small token goes a long way.

The Most Graceful Way to Give Gifts

Nothing drives me more nuts than pure and simple manners… re: point. These are all important lessons worth being reminded of every now and again. I was too shocked to say anything back to him. Enjoy the weekend! Oh so true so true! If only everyone would follow 5 — RSVP! Send an email, a text, or leave a phone message. Honestly, good manners are mostly about being considerate and friendly.

Well said. Number 7 especially resonated with me. And if you really are… then I declare you the poster girl for This is an excellent list—- I feel pretty confident about the majority of it sometimes I fail on the handwritten thank you note…. I am going to make a major effort to improve on this. Great list! You are so right, V! People must acquire these etiquettes.

Good etiquettes really boast your personality. It is nice that everyone has a good etiquettes for the better future. I am so happy my parents had great etiquette taught to them to pass down. I agree more people should have manners. Enjoy your week! Oh my…. I totally agree with your list Ms. If only everyone could follow this….. People must indeed acquire these etiquettes, especially those looking for jobs or those at work places.