He went on to mentioned that we would be playing before a crowd and we could not behave like that on stage. His dissing my trombone skills, fine. But not knowing how to behave on stage? It made my ears burn. Eve lowered her 24 year old eyes. My 47 year old eyes burned with indination. The room was silent. The others just stared. So when Philippe called out the next song, ignoring the tenion in the room, it was no surprise that the joyous spark was no longer there.
The backup singers were no longer dancing. When I walked out that night, I was debating if I should go back. Good lord, I had told all my friends that I was playing my first concert… How could I even announce that I was … told not to come? Oh, the humiliation. I debated telling my son. The entire week I tried to cajole him to come watch me play in my first concert, how would I tell him I was cut from the band? Is this what it feels like for him to get cut from the first team and have to tell me?
To come home to announce to me a bad report card? If you are lucky, as a parent, there are not many occasions where your kids have to witness your public humiliation. And being a parent, it makes you think twice on how you react… To set a good example. My pride and ego wanted to sell that horn online that same night and send Phillipe a scathing email.
But I knew my son would be watching my every move. So, I swallowed my pride.
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I know exactly how you feel. I have four kids who are mostly grown up and I care for my elderly mother so….. My wife posted a link to this on her FB page, I usually like the stuff she reads so I followed it. Here I was thinking that this would be a funny little article about the wacky adventures of a mom, but it was not quite what I expected.
Instead I read about the wacky adventures of a mom, who makes an excellent point. It bothers me to know that I am right were this post is aiming at, I do not play my position when it comes to my life. Thank you for you post it allowed me to refocus on my purpose in life, continue to strive for the gold medal even if I fail or miss the mark eventually I hope I will get there. Loved this! Perfect timing for me too!
I often come up with so many ideas and I believe God puts them in my heart, but not necessarily for me to do right now. I am a Grandmother who is presently caring for and training my 3 grandchildren each day during the week because my daughter has been bedridden and suffering from neurological pain since her youngest, who is now 8 months old, was 2 months old.
My position is dual at the moment and only God knows how long this will last. I do the main part of the training in righteousness, discipline and teaching each day. I try to maintian a balance between law and grace.
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I also try to, with the help of my Lord and God, to model all these things that I am teaching them and telling them daily. This is a huge and awesome job and one that many times I feel ill equipped to do. God, in His grace and providence, has ordainded that we my family should be going through this trial and walking by faith right now. I need prayer and grace from Him and my church family moment by moment each day.
This is my reality and one that I trust the Lord will use for His glory and all of our good. Debbie, My grandmother played a huge massive part in raising me. You are doing life changing work, Debbie. The investment you are making now will be reaped for generations to come. Sometimes I feel like Coach is calling me to play two positions at once… Like prompting me to start writing a public blog despite being pregnant with my 4th child. I played soccer too. And not well either. I also have bad depth perception. Anyway, always a good reminder to be where I am yet sometimes its fun to dream about your new position in a couple of decades when the kids are out of the house….
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This truly scares me. How many men consider themselves defined only as a Dad or that playing the Dad role is what defines them. Yes, we should care, love and respect the children we bring into the world but please do not let a soccer analogy about what is the best place for you to stop a ball being kicked in a net define who you should be as a person.
Let your children inspire you, but inspire yourself. Your children deserve to see inspiring role models for parents to show that this world has amazing opportunity, diversity and experiences. Do not let being a mother define who you are, let it be a part of what makes you interesting. Do not strive to be perfect but strive to what makes you good, whether that be working in a fantastic, inspiring job that allows you to bring up your children in a way that gives them freedom and you the ability to love them more.
Just do what is right for you, do not play a part to make everyone else happy, unlike soccer, life lasts longer than 90 minutes. Playing a role on a soccer pitch is necessary but you do it because you enjoy it for 90 mins. Having to do it for a large part of your life would probably make you want to quit.
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Be you, be interesting and part of that is being a mother it is not the whole you. God made us wildly complex and completely unique. We should cherish and tend to all areas of who we are. My children do lots of things. They take music lessons, play on sports teams and go to school.
But those music lessons and those sporting activities are always going to be secondary in our home to their education. It means that when push comes to shove, their education comes first. Education is their focus right now. Someday, they may have a job, or maybe have families. Then their focus will change. Right now, motherhood is my focus, regardless of how many other hats I wear.
We would do anything for them. Just as I ask my kids to focus on their education right now in the formidable years, I want to focus on them in these early years. I still write, I still speak at events, but when push comes to shove, all of that is secondary to me. I never knew my own mother. This is my once chance at the mother-child relationship. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts. Thank you for helping me clarify mine. It makes me a better writer and this a better blog. This was enlightening, thank you! My hesitations are thoughts like can I really balance work, home, and being out.
My hesitations are things like can I really swing working full time, will my body be completely toast after another baby, can we financially make it, etc.
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I truly love being a mother and my children are the utmost importance, as well as my husband, but is it bad that I love my full time job, too? Does that make sense to anyone? I feel like in the inside I should not let my job dictate my decision on whether or not to have another child, but I admit it does. Any encouragements would be great to hear. Thank you!! One more thing…. I was just catching up and reading this whole wonderful thread and wanted to respond to Deborah here at the end.
I have two young girls of my own and am in the decision making process about a third child right now. I have no grand advice for Deborah other than to pray this prayer for you…. Along with that, I pray He will increase your capacity day by day as needed for the moment you are in so that you have an abundance of grace and energy to pour into your children.
As far as your job, there is nothing wrong with you for loving your work and feeling torn. And so I pray that if He has another child for you and that means you have to cut back at work, so as not to be overworked and constantly exhausted, than God would give you a very clear and unmistakable word about this and a true joy to make that transition.
If it seems financially impossible for you to cut back at work or even quit for awhile, than He will give you a clear solution to this real life delima. So many women are in this same exact situation as you, do not feel alone in your thoughts and questions. It is a testimony to you as a mother that you want to give your kids what they deserve and do your best for them. If you are to keep working and have a third child than I know the Lord will be with you every step of the way, and in the hardest moments, you will receive great reward from Him for every ounce of energy you pour out.
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